Panicked ER Doctor Calls 911

It’s from the Onion, so it must be true!

CHARLOTTE, NC—In the midst of performing an emergency appendectomy Thursday, panicked ER doctor Caleb Morrison dropped his surgical instruments mid-operation and dialed 911. “You’ve got to get over here! There’s a guy lying on a table with a hole in his stomach,” a frantic Morrison can be heard saying in a recording of the emer≠gency phone call, shortly before giving his location as operating room 3 at St. Andrew’s Hospital. “Please hurry! He’s losing a lot of type O positive blood and his vital signs are increasingly unstable.” When the 911 operator’s attempts to guide the doctor through the necessary triage procedures proved unsuccessful, the deceased patient was taken to the morgue, where the forensic pathologist on duty fainted at the sight of a dead body.

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